Spiffing y'all up, one typo at a time
Hey, y’all! It’s finally feeling like fall ’round these parts. And that makes me very, very happy. I’ve never mentioned it here before, but fall is my favorite season of them all. I love cool, yet sunny, weather. I enjoy wearing shirts with sleeves I can roll up when it gets a bit too warm. I don’t need any sweaters smothering me.
As a lifelong Texan, I should say that I love fall most of all because it’s football season. Considering, however, that one of my hometown teams is still trying to recover from the Death Penalty of the late ’80s and my other hometown team is being slowly choked by one billionaire Arkansan . . . well, you can see why I adore baseball.
You might think I love all the colors of fall, the golds and reds of the changing leaves. However, I have no idea what that actually looks like. Remember that I’m a Texan. Each year, on around October 11th, our pecan trees look like this:
And then, 4 days and a good gust of wind later, you get:
I’m not exaggerating, y’all.
Let’s continue with the comparing and contrasting, OK?
Fall is a unique season in a couple of ways. First, it has two names! It can also be called “autumn,” as my friends across the pond say. (Hey there, sweet British readers!) Second, it doesn’t have an adjective ending with “-time” as the other seasons do. You can have your summertime blues and your wintertime blahs, but you won’t find any “falltime” anything. There’s not an “autumntime” either. (That was hard to type.)
Fall is like the other seasons in one very important way, however. It does NOT start with a capital letter, except at the beginning of a sentence or in a title, of course.
No more “I can’t wait for Summer to get here!” unless it’s your girlfriend named Summer. Same for Spring. That’s a girl, not a season. Writing “I hope this Winter is really snowy” will only make your friends question your schooling. And your sanity. (Do people really wish for snow?)
Yes, I understand your argument that these are the NAMES of the seasons. And if the NAMES of the months start with a capital letter and the NAMES of the days of the week do, too, why don’t the NAMES of the seasons? I hear ya. Remember what I always tell y’all: English is one jacked-up language.
I didn’t make the rules; I only enforce them.