Spiffing y'all up, one typo at a time
Hey, y’all! Hope you’re having a nice, tear-free summer so far. Is it a Southern-mama thing or do all moms use the “you’d better stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” line? True confession: I am one of those folks who is quick to tears no matter what emotion I am feeling. Sad? Tears. Mad? Tears for sure. Joy? Yep. I can’t bear to see my girls make a speech or win an award or hit a home run without getting totally choked up.
There have been times in my life—likely in yours too—that the tears have flowed and flowed. Why am I telling you this? So you won’t think I’m a horrible, unsympathetic person when you read this post . . .
Yes, this is another installment in the “When Spellcheck Won’t Help” series. I do know that I owe you a lesson or two on commas and quotation marks and subject-verb agreement. I promise I’ll get to those soon. But when two different friends, who don’t even know each other, came to me within an hour of each other asking that I cover the exact same topic . . . what was a grammar blogger to do?
Have you ever cried and cried over a breakup and then texted your mom that you’ve been “balling your eyes out”? Or maybe you’ve been on Facebook and read that a friend “balled her eyes out” reading The Joy Luck Club. (Yes, old reference. I don’t read as much as I used to.)
Folks, I’m here to tell you that I only know one person in the whole world who has ACTUALLY balled her eyes out. Well, just one eye. The left one.
Come with me, if you will, back to 1988. Melody was a young and energetic 22-year-old, hanging out and playing with what seemed like a simple toy:
Yes, y’all, she was playing paddleball when out of the blue the ball zoomed back and smacked her right in the eye. The left one (if you recall). Now, it didn’t actually knock the eye itself out. But it did permanently knock the vision out of that eye. And if you hang around her much (which I’d recommend because she is honestly one of the most wickedly funny, smartest, and most talented people I know), you’ll on occasion be reminded when you’re on her blind side.
Moral of this story: You did not, in fact, BALL your eyes out. Only Melody has done that. You, my dear, BAWLED your eyes out.
And be careful playing paddleball.
Thanks to my dear friend Melody for allowing me to share her story as a warning to you all.
Having trouble remembering which ball/bawl to use?